i’d be a stalker, but it takes too much energy

I blame the shoes.

There was this lady walking down the street in these absolutely KILLER shoes (for those of you not in the know, I loooove me some shoes). Anyway, I watched her make her way across the street, admiring her shoes, and I had to wonder where she got them, if she had more like them, and what she was like. Would we be friends, in another time and place, bonding over a mutual love of shoes? Or was she one of those that wore them because she had to, for work, not because she wanted to? Did she like coffee? Books? Going out? Was she married? Kids? What kind of shows did she like? Did she even like TV? How about movies? Music? Did she own a car, and hate to drive, like me? Or was she a driver who hated her car?

Yeah, all these thoughts whirled through my head as she crossed the cross walk right in front of my car. I felt like parking and getting out and following her, but that clearly wasn’t a very feasible thing, not to mention… crazy. And I was kinda tired from the past few nites of not sleeping very well. Not that I’d have done it even if I’d been bright eyed and bushy-tailed; do you know how much it costs to park in downtown San Diego?? And then there’s all the walking… and making sure she doesn’t see me because then it would totally freak her out, thus negating the entire “let’s get to know each other” thing.

Entirely too much work. I don’t even like to sweep and mop my house, and that requires a lot less energy than stalking some random person who I don’t even know, probably never will, and might not even like even if I did know her. Much easier to stalk your friends. At least then you can pretend you thought you were supposed to hang out if they catch you, and you already know a lot about them so you know going in if they’re stalk-worthy or not from the get-go. Plus, they would have a lot more tolerance for your kooky ways than some random lady on the street would, and you can play the “quirky friend” card for a long, long time. As long as you don’t get too flaky, and stalk them when you’re really supposed to be hanging out, or hanging out when it’s clearly stalking time. That can totally put a damper on the whole friendship/stalker thing.

Not that I have personal experience with this or anything…

2 down, 98 to go!