Unguilty Pleasures: trying to figure some stuff out

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

trying to figure some stuff out

When life gets weird for me, I retreat. And I don’t mean weird in that things around me are weird, but weird inside my head. Weirder than usual, I mean.

Sometimes it’s just random, no trigger, nothing out of the ordinary; my brain just decides to regurgitate things from the deep and I’m forced to deal with it. Other times I can feel that something is coming, some THING, and I have to anticipate it. And then sometimes life around me gets harder, and my brain wants to go into lock down and I want to retreat behind the pages of my books, in the world of my Sims, kill some zombies… anything except interact with actual real humans. Except I have four kids and a husband and needy little doggie and retreating is not always an option. Mostly not an option, anyway.

Luckily my family is pretty understanding and they let me be when I get weird. Well, the girls do. The boy child, who is eleven, not so much; not because he isn’t a sweetheart (he so is) but because he’s… an eleven year old boy. He doesn’t, you know, GET IT. The husband is pretty great at running interception for me, and thank the gods for that man, because he understands me so well. He can even sense when things are about to get weird, like some kind of emotional weather-man. Sometimes he’ll bring it to my attention before I’m even aware of it, pointing out in his gentle (but only with me) way, and in some rare instances, I can head it off before it even starts.

The last thing I want to do is go and be social. I want to hide, and pretend that the outside world doesn’t exist, that this right here is the beginning and the end of the known universe. I could happily stay inside all week, all weekend, and only venture out so far to get the mail.

Alas, it’s really the last thing I need to be doing. Before this weird set in, I made plans for the weekend. Hanging out with my friend, having an old fashioned sleepover, having guests over for dinner, interacting with other adult shaped humans I’m not related to for the entire weekend. I can’t let the weird settle in too deep or cling too hard because I have things to DO.

I guess I’ll just have to get over it. I hope it’s as easy as it sounds.

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My Goodreads

Every Last One by Anna Quindlen
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book was just... wow. So intense. It took me a little to get into it, but once I did, I couldn't put it down. I literally stayed up all night to read it because once I got to The Big Thing in the middle, I seriously COULD NOT stop reading. I had to, HAD TO, know what happened.

This is not a good book. Not in that it's poorly written or anything- it's very well written, the characters are developed, and the story is engaging. No, when I say it's not a *good* book I mean that the subject matter is scary. It's not something that any of us, anyone who has kids or parents or friends or siblings, want to consider happening. Quindlen takes a topic that is the stuff of nightmares, that REALLY HAPPENS but always to "other people", and takes us deep into the sometimes unpleasant fantasy of "what if". And in this book, she does it frighteningly well.

Probably won't read it again because I really don't need to go there again, but I do recommend it!

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My Goodreads, Too

The Magician King by Lev Grossman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is really hard for me to review. Not because I didn't like it; I really did. I liked it a lot. I liked it better than the first one, in fact. Largely because although Quentin was still a whiny boob, he was becoming less so. There was real character development going on there. He might even turn into someone I could tolerate. In small doses, but still. That's progress, right?

Anyway, back to the book... the writing was solid. I liked the parts about Julia, and I liked how it all came together. I liked the character development and I liked how gritty and ugly magic could be. This book, I think, was better written than the first one.

Except for one... little... thing....

I HATED THE ENDING.

Not going to give it away, but really? REALLY??? Oh, Mr. Grossman... WHY? Not that I need a patsy little happy ending, but this.. this was just TOO MUCH. And yes, i needed all those CAPS to express how I feel. It is what it is.

So yeah, a strong 4 stars. I wanted to give it a 3, based on the ending, but the story and the writing and the character development... good stuff. It was good stuff.

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