in the land of my kids

 August has suddenly decided that it makes her "uncomfortable" for Paul to get up on her bed (they have a bunk bed, August has the top). This is a new development. And it makes her "uncomfortable" for Paul to play with any of "her" toys. They kinda have all the SAME toys, but somewhere along the way, they've been divided into Paul's toys and August's toys. There's a trading system in place, but I don't pretend to understand it. Anyway, all of this was revealed to Paul yesterday. Today, she wants to play with Paul's 3DS. Paul, who is usually pretty laid back, denies her request. August pouts, whines, gets mad, to no avail. I ask Paul why he won't let her, and he tells me about August's new-found aversion to letting him play with "her" stuff, or be on "her" bed, so HE doesn't particularly feel like sharing with HER. Fair enough.

August looks at Paul and says in this I'm-speaking-to-an-irrational-person voice "Paul. That was YESTERDAY. It's IN THE PAST. Why do you have to bring up stuff that ALREADY HAPPENED?" because, you know. IT WAS SO LONG AGO.

I told August that she was just gonna have to deal with it. She gave me A Look, sighed, and now I'm included in the too-irrational-for-words list.

Considering the company, that’s a good thing

has anyone seen my motivation?

Cause I can’t find it.

I’m kinda just rambling about these days, not really doing much of anything that needs doing. I mean, granted, me and Joe have had the sick, so that was a lot of me laying on the couch for a few days.

There are so many things I *want* to do. Like, crochet. I love to crochet. Yes, my inner old lady is showing. But seriously, crocheting is good times. It’s relaxing. I like making stuffs. Mostly, I like finishing stuffs. And yet, although I really want to crochet, day in and day out, I just… don’t.

I want to write more. Every day I think how this or that or other would make good blogger fodder but then I ignore the impulse and go play Castleville on Facebook instead. Cause, you know, THAT’S productive. Mindless cartoon kingdom vs. writing things down… hmmm... gee. SHOULD BE a no-brainer and yet, I continue to waste so. much. time. on Facebook. Don’t get me wrong, there are SOME productive things I do there, like connect with my various real-life friends that live around the country. However, that shouldn’t take the bulk of my free time, I just find myself spending too much time than I should be.

I want to read more. I love reading. It’s been my favorite thing to do for most of my life. And yet, I just… don’t read. I mean, I AM reading, just not like I usually do. Again, my time is being sucked into the computer. What is it about the freaking interwebs that’s SO addicting?

I need to exercise. I’m overweight! This isn’t healthy. This isn’t good for me. I want to lose some of this weight, and be healthier, and yet… blah blah blah. I don’t do it.

It’s like my motivation is on hiatus. Where did it go? Have you seen it?

yeah, hi, I shouldn’t be here

I should be cleaning my room. Cause it’s, like, a major disaster. It usually isn’t the tidiest of places because it’s full of stuff that doesn’t really have a home, but usually I can cram it all in the closet and call it good. However… since before Xmas… yeah.

So I need to get in there and get it together. And clean my bathroom, too. I said to Self “Self, you need to clean this room. And this bathroom. Until then, NO SIMS FOR YOU!” and I meant it. I haven’t been on Sims once since I got up, and I reeeeeally want to play Sims.

However, I did not say one thing about not getting on the internets. So technically I’m not disobeying my Self because I’m not Simming, just… doing really important things here. For scientific research. And it’s top secret, so you can understand why I don’t say exactly what it is I’m talking about. Not that I could tell you even if I knew, because I don’t usually know. What I’m talking about, I mean.

Which sounds like a problem, but let me assure, it really isn’t. At least, not usually.

Next week we start back up the homeschooling and I feel really mixed about it. I want to do it because these days of just being lazy are cool, but pointless. I want to get back into the routine. The kids NEED the routine. Things get weird with them if they don’t have routine. Well, wierder than usual. If that’s even possible.

I need to find some type of outside stuff to do with these guys because it’s getting lonesome, just us doing it. The problem with that is that I’m SUCH a homebody and I hate putting myself outside of my comfort zone. But these guys need more than just me, and the socialization that comes from being with other kids. Although it’s not something I’m really super excited to go out and do, I look forward to it at the same time because it’s something new and different.

Right now…? my little doggie is trying to get my attention. She wants me to give her pets. So, I will go and do that

as much as it pains me…

I seriously need to commit to this blogging, or let it go.

I know, I know, I’ve said this in the past and meant it… and then flaked out like a giant flake. The thing is, I don’t know how to make myself do this. I WANT to do this, but I don’t know how to make myself.

I’ll figure it out.

So here is the down-low on what’s been what around here. First, we made it through Xmas. I was kinda freaking about how I was going to pay for it, but as it turned out, we got it figured out. And boy oh boy did we make it a good one! I had a fabulous time shopping for everyone, and the best part? Stephen got to come home for the holiday! He was here for two weeks. It was awesome.

The Night Before, I stayed up and, as per usual, drank drinky drinks and wrapped presents. The Man helped, and the work got done pretty quickly. Managed to get it done by 12:30 am, and that, friends, is a record for me. Usually I’m up til 2 or even 3, not that I mind, but getting more than a few hours of sleep on the Night Before is pretty awesome.

Anyway, the kidlets were all up before The Man and I were, even Mary, who at fifteen, could sleep the day away if I let her. The Man woke me up at about 6:20 saying that the kids were all up, and trying to be quiet, but it might be fun if we went ahead and let them have at it. I managed to negotiate making coffee before we released them, and it was on.

Everyone really enjoyed their presents. I have to say, I did a beautiful job this year wrapping. It never ceases to crack me up how long it takes to wrap them, hours and hours, and only minutes to tear them apart. At any rate, everyone loved their gifts, and I always love it when they love what they get.

We had breakfast shortly after, and then got started on making the feast. As usual for us, we had dinner early, and pretty much grazed at it all day and into the evening. I think I OD’ed on pie, to be honest. Totally overdid it. But it was worth it.

The following week we had our New Year’s Eve Extravaganza. We invited some of our friends, which was pretty cool. Everything went really well; the food was awesome, the games were fun, and it seemed like everyone had a pretty great time. The only sad part was that Stephen had to leave for Italy that night, and it about broke my heart to hug him goodbye. After he left, I just cried and cried. I can’t stand the idea that I won’t see him again for another year and a half. And the knowledge that he is being deployed… just, no. I want him here, with us, at home. Where he belongs. But that’s not how it is. And I have to accept that.

Other than that, it was a pretty awesome holiday this year.

More on other stuff later.