Wednesday, September 8, 2010

can i have a timeout now?

If I had to do this over again, would I? Would I have children? I guess that’s not a fair question, because I have them and I adore them so very much, I can’t fathom NOT wanting them. It would be akin to wondering if you could, would you have been born without arms? They’re such a part of my life and my makeup as a human being that I could not possibly imagine my existence without them.

I sometimes wonder, though, what WOULD life be like without my children in it?

I can’t really wrap my head around that.

Today I was ready to wish I’d never had children. Well, one child in particular. She’s my youngest, my “baby”. Yes, she’s nine, and yes, I know… she’s not a baby. Almost double digits. Been a long while since I carted her around on my hip. However, since she’s the last one, she’s my “baby”. And today she was sorely trying my patience.

She isn’t the most even tempered child to begin with, although she’s a little love. She is, however, very stubborn and is convinced that she’s more or less right about… well, everything. Sometimes that rears its head in a most inconvenient manner, and it results in several unpleasant moments for the both of us. Because whatever she thinks, I KNOW she’s not right about everything, and last time I checked, I was still the boss of her. Apparently she went mad this morning and lost sight of that little factoid. I thought we’d have at least a few more years before she lost her mind, but apparently… it’s starting early.

Now, this kind of behavior I expect from my teenager, who doesn’t behave this way at all, and from my pre-teen, who… well. Holy crap. Some days I can’t make heads or tails of that girl. One minute she’s DEL-TOR, demon from Hades… and then two seconds later she’s Delta, light of my life, sweetest angel on earth. She can go from happy to mad to sad to glad to curious to elated to… well, you get the idea… all inside of an hour. She falls asleep by nine-thirty every nite, completely passed out, and that can only lead me to think that she’s probably going through some… changes. WHY I thought this might be a smooth transition is beyond me…

I love my son. I really, really do.

8 down, 92 to go!

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